Pessimists are realists (yes, really!)
What we mean by this is if you expect the worst, it will happen. Cynical people look at the whole world as if it’s out to get them. They see optimists as naïve fools who are out of touch with reality. What they don’t realise is this is only THEIR reality. Having spent their lives looking out for everything that supports their negative view, they are absolutely convinced that they are only ones that can see things as they really are.
Optimists are realists too. It just depends how you see things. Is your glass half full or is it half empty. Was it half empty, smashed on the floor and then stained the carpet, or was the glass just to big? Let’s take this a stage further and imagine the following situations:
Pessimist’s Perspective
The pessimist gets to work to find that a supplier has let him down and his warehouse manager has handed in his notice. He lets rip at the supplier thinking he must be completely incompetent and tells everyone that he never rated that warehouse manager anyway.
Result: The supplier tells him to take his business elsewhere, therefore he also loses his best customer and all his staff feel threatened and demoralised.
He then gets home to find that the garage door his son was supposed to have painted has still not been done. Before his son can say a word, he tells him he’s useless and is always letting him down. He pours himself a large whisky.
Result: His son is bitter and resentful and vows to leave home as soon as possible.
Optimist’s Perspective
The optimist gets to work and finds that a supplier has let him down and his warehouse manager has handed in his notice. He finds out what the suppliers problems are, explains the situation to his customer and tells them exactly when their goods will arrive.
Result: Supplier gives him free stock on his next delivery, which he sends to his customer who increases their business with him.
He accepts the warehouse manager’s notice and is quietly glad that he now has an opportunity to replace him with someone better. He gets home to find that the garage door his son was supposed to have painted has still not been done. He listens as his son explains he has been ill in bed most of the day. He goes indoors and makes them both a cup of tea.
Result: His son feels loved and valued and the cup of tea makes them both feel better.
Achievers have learned the right way to talk to themselves and others. They know what they want and how to modify their behaviour to get what they want. They are also very good at seeing opportunities in situations of adversity. Their subconscious default setting is constantly giving the message “I could have done without that, but it’s okay…it’s possible…I CAN DO IT!
Another reason why pessimists are bad news…
Recently, I stopped at a petrol station and after paying for the petrol, I decided to get a newspaper and a bottle of water. The young woman at the desk said, “That will be five pounds please.” As I reached into my wallet, it occurred to me that five pounds seemed a lot for a newspaper and a bottle of water. When I looked up, she had a big smile on her face. “Gotcha!” she said, I’ve got to get my tip in there somehow!”
I laughed because I knew I’d been had. She then glanced down at the newspaper and said, “I’m sick and tired of all this negative stuff on the front pages. Wouldn’t it be nice to read some good news for a change.” She thanked me for coming in and said, “Maybe we’ll get lucky tomorrow; maybe we’ll get some good news!” That woman made my day. It’s not that often people I run into are so positive.
Later that week I called in for more petrol (the drawbacks of driving a Humvee). I went to the same petrol station, but this time a different young lady was behind the counter. I said, “Good afternoon” and handed her my money. She said nothing; not a word, not a smile. Nothing. She handed me my change and in a negative tone shouted “Next!”
Then it hit me right between the eyes: two people, same age; one had made me feel great, and the other had made me feel lousy. By the choices we make, the way we think and the attitudes we exhibit, we can influence the lives of our family, our peers, our friends, and even strangers we’ve never met before.
Are you up for a challenge?
So here is a challenge, try and become that bubbly person who made me laugh and just watch how that changes the attitudes of people around you. Eva and I have made it a game now, every time that we are out we have a competition to see who can get the most smiles from people we don’t know. you get a bonus if you make someone laugh!
