Key elements of a confident person

Written By Nik & Eva Speakman
Self esteem on scrabble pieces

Even those who believe they have no confidence, are confident at something, and this alone is something to proud of.

As human beings, we are not born with or without confidence.

Confidence is a feeling we obtain from:

Life experiences

  • I know I can, because I have always been encouraged

  • I know I can, because I have been taught to believe in myself

  • I know I can, because I have never felt judged negatively

  • I know I can, because I have been taught to be confident

  • I know I can, because I have been taught that the very worst that could happen is that I will learn from my mistakes

  • I know I can, because I have been taught to make light of my mistakes

Practice:

  • I know I can, because I have done this before

  • I know I can, because I have perfected it

  • I know I can, because this is my skill

  • I know I can, because I do this all the time

Deserving

  • I deserve praise for my skills

  • I deserve to be appreciated

  • I deserve to be happy

  • I deserve to stand out

  • I deserve to be outstanding

This means that you don’t have to feel confident to LEARN confidence. It is not something that you’re either born with or without. Confidence is something that you can develop and grow through your life experiences, through practice and through learning that you deserve to feel your confident best every day.

Extract from our book, Everyday Confidence. Please keep an eye on our TikTok channel for new uploads every week, with specific videos on confidence. Also, we’d love to see you at one of our upcoming workshops this year, where we go into much greater detail on our approach, tips, techniques and methods.

Nik & Eva Speakman

We have studied and worked together since 1992. Between us we have studied human behaviour and psychology for seven decades. We both share an uncontainable passion to offer hope and to help people lead happier and less inhibited lives.

After many remarkable breakthroughs we created our own behavioural change therapy, ‘Schema Conditioning.’® Subsequent work with trauma victims and their related symptoms, led to the creation of two further trauma-based therapies.

‘Schema Conditioning Psychotherapy.’®

‘Visual Schema Displacement Therapy (VSDT)’®

‘Visual Schema Detachment & Restructuring (VSDR)’®

Qualifications from the creation of our therapies, resulted in training psychology professors, doctors and masters students at Universities in Amsterdam and Utrecht. In 2015, this training produced the two sets of scientific studies conducted into the workings of our therapy; the first two study papers highlighting the remarkable efficacy, was published in the Journal of Behaviour Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry in June 2019. A further third study was then published in the European Journal of Psychotraumatology in April 2021, with a fourth clinical study with hospital patients is currently underway and will be completed by the end of 2022.

In addition to members of the public, we work with, and have treated many high-profile clients and ‘A’ list clients around the world, having had prodigious successes. We are resident therapists on ITV’s multi award-winning ‘This Morning’ and have been for over a decade, we have also had own television shows, one of which, ‘The Speakmans’, also aired on ITV and several countries worldwide. Over the last two decades we have appeared on numerous other television shows as experts, such as the multi award-winning Saturday Night Takeaway.

Our mission is to illuminate that there is ALWAYS HOPE and that overcoming trauma and improving quality of life is entirely possible. Many people have either never been given hope, or worse had hope taken away from them, our aim is to correct that by sharing our message in any way we possibly can, including live workshops, theatre tours, books, podcasts, radio, television, social media and YouTube.

At the heart of all we do, is our relentless mission to offer HOPE to as many people as we possibly can.

https://nikandeva.com
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