Three steps to heal anxiety and negative thinking

A girl have a moment of anxiety trying to keep it together in a praying position

Anxiety & Negative Thinking

Do you struggle with anxiety, perhaps an abundance of negative emotions, and you’re not quite sure on how to address them?

If only there was, however, there’s no handbook for life. Sometimes negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions can actually leave us feeling broken and overwhelmed. In this blog, we will share three simple steps to help promote emotional healing to help reduce your anxieties.

Our brains are designed to prioritise survival amongst all else, not to make us happy. That doesn’t mean we can’t be happy, especially if we practise tips, tricks and techniques to promote happiness.

ANALOGY

Whilst our brains can be considered to be really complicated,  just consider this simple analogy. Imagine that you’re in a darkened room, and you want to illuminate that room. You could get the wiring diagram from an electrician and find out that there are many lights in that room. Discovering then that some lights are wired from the floor upwards, and some are wired from the ceiling downwards. You might also realise that some lights have different voltages to others, or different amperages (are you bored already? We’re bored typing this!)

The fact  is, you have a dark room – what’s the simplest solution? Find the light switch and flick it, that’s it!

Our world sometimes can make us feel completely overwhelmed, which has a knock-on effect on our mental health, however this can be combatted. If we just keep it simple.

If you’re feeling anxious, the fact is, your brain is designed to make you feel anxious, it’s all part of your internal mechanism to protect you from danger. Understand that this is step 1.

ANXIETY – STEP ONE

if you understand what’s going on, then immediately it feels better. So if you feel anxious, great news, your body is working NORMALLY. There’s nothing wrong with you; what’s abnormal is the fact that you may have your flight-or-flight mechanism linked to something that isn’t a danger.

Which leads us to step 2; knowing that your flight-or-flight response is being triggered and making you feel anxiety in situations that actually you know is safe – the next question is how do I solve that?

The best and easiest thing to do is write a timeline of your life events, because anxiety is a symptom, and behind every symptom is a cause. We need to look into the past and see what cause or causes, traumas you’ve endured, what issues you’ve had – grief, heartbreak, being embarrassed, humiliation – any kind of trauma could lead you to be triggered in similar situations moving forward, which creates anxiety.

STEP TWO

So step 2, its time to create a timeline. We have an amazing video on our YouTube channel and our TikTok channel, explaining in more depth how you can complete your timeline.

What’s then great is that you can take that timeline to a therapist. You can then say these are some of the events that have happened in my life, and  some of the things that I would like to address. Or, you might actually be able to look through your timeline and address them yourself.  You can do this by changing your perspective into something more positive, and begin to sever that fight-or-flight response which then creates the anxiety.

STEP THREE

This is all about looking at things that you can adopt in your life, which can make your life happier. Things such as gratitude. Practising gratitude is so important and it’s one of the main keys to happiness. We have some great films on gratitude our YouTube channel.

Reviewing our friends and our environment, and how can they affect your mood on a daily basis is a good exercise. We all know the means to promote positive physical heath (we have to exercise, eat well etc.). We do however overlook the need to create a good, positive mental attitude as well for mental health as well.

You need to make these things habitual, and depending on what you read, the average is, that it takes 60 days to create a habit. You therefore, you have got to practice these (like gratitude and setting goals) on a daily basis.

Another great habit that you can adopt is saying ‘but luckily’. A lot of people say I’m just a negative thinker, I always think of the worst possible outcome; and it is true that if you have had traumas in our life, we can expect the worst.  ‘But luckily’ would give you a nudge and helps to end your thoughts in a positive way.

For a deeper dive into how you can conquer your anxiety – how about grabbing a copy of our book, Conquering Anxiety! 🙂

Nik & Eva Speakman

We have studied and worked together since 1992. Between us we have studied human behaviour and psychology for seven decades. We both share an uncontainable passion to offer hope and to help people lead happier and less inhibited lives.

After many remarkable breakthroughs we created our own behavioural change therapy, ‘Schema Conditioning.’® Subsequent work with trauma victims and their related symptoms, led to the creation of two further trauma-based therapies.

‘Schema Conditioning Psychotherapy.’®

‘Visual Schema Displacement Therapy (VSDT)’®

‘Visual Schema Detachment & Restructuring (VSDR)’®

Qualifications from the creation of our therapies, resulted in training psychology professors, doctors and masters students at Universities in Amsterdam and Utrecht. In 2015, this training produced the two sets of scientific studies conducted into the workings of our therapy; the first two study papers highlighting the remarkable efficacy, was published in the Journal of Behaviour Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry in June 2019. A further third study was then published in the European Journal of Psychotraumatology in April 2021, with a fourth clinical study with hospital patients is currently underway and will be completed by the end of 2022.

In addition to members of the public, we work with, and have treated many high-profile clients and ‘A’ list clients around the world, having had prodigious successes. We are resident therapists on ITV’s multi award-winning ‘This Morning’ and have been for over a decade, we have also had own television shows, one of which, ‘The Speakmans’, also aired on ITV and several countries worldwide. Over the last two decades we have appeared on numerous other television shows as experts, such as the multi award-winning Saturday Night Takeaway.

Our mission is to illuminate that there is ALWAYS HOPE and that overcoming trauma and improving quality of life is entirely possible. Many people have either never been given hope, or worse had hope taken away from them, our aim is to correct that by sharing our message in any way we possibly can, including live workshops, theatre tours, books, podcasts, radio, television, social media and YouTube.

At the heart of all we do, is our relentless mission to offer HOPE to as many people as we possibly can.

https://nikandeva.com
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